The Truth Within...

What follows is an excerpt from a most excellent book entitled "Real-Time Relationships: The Logic of Love", by Stefan Molyneux. It is a philosophy book about psychology, which are two of the most relevant disciplines when it comes to daily life. I found this passage particularly poignant because it talks about the necessity of being honest with ourselves. To live with integrity, we must fully accept our feelings rather than invent fictions that will make them go away.

We so commonly will say "I feel _____ because _______"

We would do far better for ourselves and those we love by admitting our vulnerability. We should say simply, "I feel _______." By not inventing a mythology for our feelings, the possibility for curiousity remains. Perhaps then we can actually learn why we feel the way we do.

Deep within our bodies, from the moment of our conception, lie all of the amazing biochemical functionality and potentiality of growth, puberty and maturity.

In the same way, within our unconscious minds, lies all the wisdom we could ever consume in a single lifetime.

We do not defend ourselves against our emotions; we do not defend ourselves against the pain of the past; we do not even defend ourselves against the discomfort of the present.

We always and only ever defend ourselves against the actions of the future

If we have been hurt by a dentist and we fear returning, we do not fear the past, since that pain has come and gone.

We fear the pain of the future

Psychological defences do not exist to prevent us from feeling pain in the past; they exist to prevent us from acting with integrity in the future.

Psychological defences do not prevent us from being exploited in the past - since that has already happened. Psychological defences ensure that we shall be exploited in the future - and that we shall exploit others, which is even worse.

An addict does not take his drug in order to feel bliss in the past, but in order to feel bliss in the present - and, as the addiction develops, in order to avoid the agony of withdrawal in the future.

In the same way, we avoid our feelings in the present because we wish to avoid ugly confrontations in the future.

We ignore our "sinking feeling" when our mother calls because we wish to avoid the confrontation that will inevitably occur if we accept our feelings...

...Do you see why we avoid our feelings?

Do you see why thinking that our avoidance has anything to do with the past is so fundamentally couterproductive and erroneous?

Do you see how terrifying our true feelings are for those who exploit us?

Do you see how impossible it would be to exploit us if we truly felt our own emotions?

Do you see why I say that we must be salves in order to facilitate slavery?

Do you understand why I say that we must first reject ourselves before we can be controlled by others?

We can do nothing about our enslavement in the past. We were children, we were forced to go to school and church, we were surrounded by people that we never chose to have in our lives - our parents, siblings, our extended family, our teachers...

The slavery of the past is unalterable.

The slavery of the future can be changed.

We cannot be free in the past, or from the past.

We can be free in the future.

And our souls are constantly whispering in our ears the combination to the lock that will set us free.

Feel, communicate, understand, act!